The back story for this is that on Saturdays I am almost always depressed and aggravated and I can’t even stand to be around myself. I have no idea why that is. Secondly, I’ve been having computer trouble for months on end. One thing after the next goes wrong, I can’t connect to the wifi, I get kicked out of the wifi, on and on. I finally went so far as to get a new computer. And still, I’ve been having trouble with the fucking thing for months. First one thing is wrong, then another, over and over and over.
The last few days it’s been working OK. (So why I didn’t simply EXPECT a malfunction, I don’t know.) But here’s the rub. Everything that can possibly be fixed or changed has BEEN fixed or changed.
So I had a pretty good day on Saturday. Nothing went wrong, my mood was pretty good. And then I was having a nice day on Sunday, too. What? Two good days in a row? Unheard of. Until, around 5:00 p. m. on Sunday, I sat down at the computer to check my mail. I pushed the on button, and nothing happened. I waited. I tried it again. Nothing. I tried holding the button down for a while. Still nothing. I walked away and left it alone for 10 or 15 minutes and tried it again. Nothing. Wouldn’t turn on. It was dead.
So I had a meltdown. Then I unhooked the fucker and set in on the dining room table ready for me to take it to the computer fixers Monday morning. And then I had another melt down. What is my desk? The Burmuda triangle? Why does a computer never work there? And it goes on and on and on. And I was just sad because, as we all know, the universe does not allow me to have two good days in a row. And that’s the way my whole life has been. My whole life.
This morning, I opened up the computer on the dining room table, pressed the on button, and it came right up. Nothing wrong at all. Jim asked if I could think of an explanation. I said no, but the only explanation there is is that in order to keep me from having two good days in a row, even when something completely ludicrous and inexplicable needs to happen to ruin my day, it WILL happen. The universe will make something impossible happen, just to fuck me over. What other explanation is there?